Things I want to do in the next 10 years (as written when I was 20):
1. Finish school and attain a bachelor's degree. Woohoo, I have one crossed off. I actually have 2 degrees. Yay me! Still paying for my student loans to do it though.
2. Get married. Ok, I haven't gotten married, or even engaged. Came close to what I thought was the right person once, but nothing much more on that. For the moment, I have given up on love and even dating. I hate it.
3. Go on a Mediterranean cruise and visit Italy, Greece, and Spain. Hasn't happened.. but now I would like to visit Ireland and Scotland more than I want to see these listed above.
4. Get a job I like that won't be boring by the end of the week and pays more than $7.50 an hour. LOL well things are looking good for me here. I LOVE MY JOB!! I love that every day is different due to having a whole class full of different personalities.
5. Go skinny dipping with Brad. HAHA no comment!
6. Learn to waterski. This must have been due to the time I tried to waterski and did the splits. It is still the only time I tried it.
7. Buy a house. Yeah this won't probably ever happen as long as I am single and still paying student loans.
8. Drive across Canada. Nope not yet. Still would like to do this though!
9. Learn to snowboard. I don't even want to learn how anymore.. I think it must have been trendy at the time. I am content to ski, which I haven't really done since I was 20.
10. Convince Kathy to forgive my dad. A couple of years it all came out why she was so angry and I get it now. They talk now and I think she's forgiven him, but she hasn't forgotten or gotten over it I don't think.
11. Go parasailing. Not sure what I was even thinking here as I am SCARED OF HEIGHTS!! I did go hot air ballooning once.. it was crazy!
13. Learn to cook a turkey. I never learned this. I always pictured me doing it for my family and I don't have one, so I just go to my mom's.
14. Stop biting my nails. For the most part.
15. Lose 20 lbs. LOL, I was so skinny when I wrote this and had no appreciation for it. I need to lose way more than 20 now!!
16. Jump off the Big Rock at Little Qualicum River. Again, not sure what I was thinking here as I'm SCARED OF HEIGHTS!!
17. Go see Les Miserables. Saw it for my birthday one year and loved it. Although it wasn't as good as Phantom of the Opera. I would love to go to New York and see a musical every night.
18. Go to a concert (preferably something good) HAHA I wrote this when the only thing I had seen was Fred Penner (twice). Since then I have been to many concerts. My first was to Blue Rodeo when I was 23. I LOVED IT.. one of my faves for sure!
19. Learn to paint in watercolours. Yes, I have done this, not well, but I have even taught my class a bit on this. I would love to be artistic to the point where my paintings looked good and were worth hanging.
20. Learn to develop pictures. I think this is obsolete now, but I never did learn.
21. Go to a shooting range like the ones in the movies. I did this, and I'm quite a good shot. It was very fun.
22. Learn to ballroom dance with Brad (swing, waltz, jive, cha cha, lambada, etc.) I did this in university and it was so fun. At one point I was actually swing dancing 3-4 times a week. It's pretty much the only type of dancing I can do.
23. Ride on a rollercoaster. Yes, I went on the wooden rollercoaster at the PNE and nearly crapped my pants. Some little boy laughed at me because I was crying and could barely get off the coaster at the end as I was shaking so badly.
24. Go on a ferris wheel. I think this was romanticized too much in movies, it wasn't that awesome.
25. Learn to kickbox. I am doing Les Mills Combat now and it is SO FUN!! I feel like I could kick some butt when I do it. I have no clue how to do a roundhouse kick and I think I look super awkward doing it, but I feel powerful when I do this. I would love to learn to box eventually where I actually am like Hilary Swank in "Million Dollar Baby".
26. Dive off the high diving board. Not sure what I was thinking here as I'M AFRAID OF HEIGHTS!! LOL! I see a theme.
27. Go repelling. I did do this in university and it was pretty fun but kind of scary since I am scared of heights.
28. Do 10 chin-ups. If I couldn't do this at my skinniest, there is probably no hope for me now!!
29. Pay off my student loan. I paid off the one to my parents, but I have a million years to go for my one to the government. I will be paying it off in my retirement.
30. Have a baby. Funny how something so simple becomes unattainable. I found out I had cervical cancer when I was 29 and had to have a hysterectomy. I will never know what it's like to be pregnant, a fact that still is difficult to wrap my mind around. I am starting to look into adoption and surrogacy as other options, but I wonder if I am selfish to want that when I'm single.
31. Learn how to belly dance. I actually signed up for this once but there weren't enough people in the class and it got cancelled.
32. Learn how to row a boat. I don't even know why I put this on here.. but yes I can row a boat now.
33. Learn a language and visit a country that speaks it. Nope, never done it. Don't even know any languages. Haven't used my Spanish since high school.
34. Learn to surf. I haven't gone surfing, but I have gone wind surfing. I would actually still like to try surfing.
35. Build something out of wood (like a deck). I think I really wanted to be able to work on my own house when I had one, but as I don't, I haven't done this.
36. Learn how to do jumps on skis (spread eagle, 360) Haven't even been on skis since I was 20..
37. Learn how to dance an Irish jig. I did take a dance class that was a mix of Jazz, Ballet, and Irish. I was horrible. My mom asked me why I thought I would have gotten better at dancing. :(
38. Make a family tree as far back as I can go. I am really proud of what I have done with my family tree. I can go back to the 1600's in some of my lines. Obviously this is something that is ongoing! I did lose my momentum when my dad deleted EVERYTHING while cleaning his desktop. Was hard to have to restart.
39. Build a treehouse. I wanted this for my children. As I don't have a yard or children, I have had no need for a treehouse.
40. Learn how to drive a standard with confidence. No, I could probably drive one, but I would be a stress case. Hills kill me and I live in New Westminster, hill capital of BC.
41. Get a hole in one. I think I got one in mini golf.. what can I say, I am pro?
42. Learn the names of different plants and their uses. I worked at Art Knapp for a summer and did learn a lot about plants. I also have had plant people come in and discuss this in my class.
43. Have enough Christmas decorations to fill a tree. I have probably enough ornaments to fill 2 trees. I may have a problem, I wonder if there is a 12 step program for this?
44. Learn how to do a handspring. I think my days of being able to, or wanting to do this are over. A cartwheel makes me dizzy.
45. Learn the sword dance. When I was at university I had a friend Cat that taught me how to do this. We used socks as swords.
It's fun to look back and think about the kind of person I was that made these kind of goals. I have changed a lot since my cancer diagnosis. A lot of what I wish for now, is just to be happy. Sometimes it is hard to remember what that felt like. I used to look through the world with rose coloured glasses, as you can tell from my goals. None of which are really all of that important. I wonder how my life would be different sometimes if some of these goals had happened (gotten married and had a baby). I'm glad I didn't settle for some of the losers that asked me though. I don't think I would have been any happier that way. It was funny to see how some of the things I wanted back then were reliant on doing them with Brad. He is definitely the one who got away for me. It is crazy to think how that loss is still one I think about.
I wonder what my list would look like now. I should make one. There is really not a lot of things on this list, that would still be on my list today, even with them not getting done. Is that because I have changed who I am or just lost a bit of who I am? My cancer diagnosis really did change a lot of how I viewed myself.
What I want to do in the next 10 years:
1. Meet a guy who accepts me for who I am. Someone who challenges me to be better than I am.
2. Make a difference in the lives of my students. Get them to develop a love for learning and a thirst for knowledge. Help them recognize and develop their strengths while working on their weaknesses.
3. Be happy. I'm working on this. I sometimes forget what it feels like to truly be happy.
4. Stop blaming God for not answering my prayers when I was going through the cancer. Being mad at him really only hurts me.
5. Continue to learn and grow in both my personal and professional life. I always want to try new things and improve on what I'm doing. I don't ever want to be stagnant.
I will maybe keep adding onto this list. How has your life changed from when you were in university? What did you want then? How have the goals you had for yourself shaped who you are today? How have you changed? I think it is neat to do this kind of writing and then look back on it. I also had an English teacher in grade 12 who made us keep a journal that he didn't read, we were supposed to open it a year from then. I dug it out last year.. man it is interesting to see the kinds of things I thought mattered back then.